#TBT It’s actually been nice sitting back and watching from the sidelines this season! 2017 was a long season and at the end of it I was beyond burnt out. If I am to be completely honest, by the time Olympia rolled around I didn’t even want to compete anymore. I didn’t have the ideal prep for Olympia. There was a lot going on in my personal life that caused an undue amount of stress on top of everything else. It made the whole experience...not so enjoyable. It was more like an obligation than an opportunity and for that I was really sad and disappointed 😔. I had done the best I could while managing a toxic abusive relationship and working 3 jobs. I had given the last three years of my life to be there and it didn’t go at all how I had envisioned it. C’est la vie right (heavy sigh). I decided I needed this season to get my body back to a healthy weight, give my hormones a really fair chance to balance out (not just a few weeks), and focus on repairing my life. It took a lot of adjusting to make all that happen. I gained a lot of weight initially and if you follow me, you probably notice I shy away from the camera when that happens. Well the reality is I’m not always at my “fighting” weight. My life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows and I go through bad times as much as the next person. After spending more than two months laying in bed being a sad sack of shit 😂🙄, I finally pulled myself up and got it together. My body took its time but eventually bounced back to something I am happy with. No I’m not 8% body fat but I’m healthy and happy and I eat without feeling guilty or obsessing (that took some time). I set some financial goals for myself and was able to reach them. I handled a lot of bullshit that I had been neglecting. Oh yeah and I moved my entire life across the country 😂. So there’s that. Most of all I spent time with friends, family, and people I love dearly. Laughing and enjoying life, traveling and experiencing cuisine and drink. Being in this sport has taught me so much about myself. Whether I’m standing on stage or standing on the sidelines. Both have given me completely different perspectives.